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Famous People » dave barry

Dave Barry

  • The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
    Dave Barry
  • The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
    Dave Barry
  • The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
    Dave Barry
  • The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
    Dave Barry
  • The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
    Dave Barry
  • The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
    Dave Barry
  • The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
    Dave Barry
  • The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
    Dave Barry
  • The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
    Dave Barry
  • There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.
    Dave Barry
  • Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
    Dave Barry
  • To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
    Dave Barry
  • To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
    Dave Barry
  • Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
    Dave Barry
  • We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
    Dave Barry
  • We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
    Dave Barry
  • We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
    Dave Barry
  • We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.
    Dave Barry
  • We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
    Dave Barry
  • What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
    Dave Barry

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