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Famous People » dave barry

Dave Barry

  • I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
    Dave Barry
  • I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
    Dave Barry
  • I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
    Dave Barry
  • I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
    Dave Barry
  • I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
    Dave Barry
  • I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
    Dave Barry
  • If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
    Dave Barry
  • If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
    Dave Barry
  • If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
    Dave Barry
  • If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
    Dave Barry
  • In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
    Dave Barry
  • In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
    Dave Barry
  • It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
    Dave Barry
  • It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
    Dave Barry
  • It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
    Dave Barry
  • It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
    Dave Barry
  • Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
    Dave Barry
  • Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
    Dave Barry
  • My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
    Dave Barry
  • Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
    Dave Barry

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