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Famous People » groucho marx

Groucho Marx

  • Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
    Groucho Marx
  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
    Groucho Marx
  • Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
    Groucho Marx
  • Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
    Groucho Marx
  • Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
    Groucho Marx
  • My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.
    Groucho Marx
  • My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
    Groucho Marx
  • Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
    Groucho Marx
  • No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
    Groucho Marx
  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
    Groucho Marx
  • Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
    Groucho Marx
  • Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
    Groucho Marx
  • Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
    Groucho Marx
  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
    Groucho Marx
  • Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
    Groucho Marx
  • Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
    Groucho Marx
  • Room service? Send up a larger room.
    Groucho Marx
  • She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
    Groucho Marx
  • The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.
    Groucho Marx
  • The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
    Groucho Marx

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